I’m BJ Teriba
Truth Is Found In Tension
prepmanagementinc • January 2, 2022
Truth Is Found In Tension
Tension is one of the most important tools in any relationship. You can meet someone you have a lot in common with, hit it off, communicate and even spend lots of time together, but without tension those interactions do very little to inform you of who a person “really is” or how a person really feels.
Why We Need Tension
Since the dawn of time, we’ve seen tension shed light on truth for humanity. We need only to look at innate human behavior patterns like “fight or flight” to understand the connection & context between tension & truth for humanity. We react to pressure with our most genuine reactions -- for better or worse and this has been the case since the dawn of modern humanity.
In a digitally centric world, where people constantly post about their thoughts and feelings, you may fool yourself into thinking you know a person. As we get older, there are simply less reasons to connect with people.
Once you’re out of school and in the workforce, there’s really no reason to have to connect with people unless you’re entrepreneurial or big into networking. And with less touch points, our relationships suffer, becoming surface level & mundane.
In a digitally centric world, where people constantly post about their thoughts and feelings, you may fool yourself into thinking you know a person. As we get older, there are simply less reasons to connect with people.
Once you’re out of school and in the workforce, there’s really no reason to have to connect with people unless you’re entrepreneurial or big into networking. And with less touch points, our relationships suffer, becoming surface level & mundane.
Surface Level Relationships
A majority of the time, the company we keep is dictated by our environment and more exploratory than defined. We don’t have years of experience with a lot of the people we’re around and have to learn about people on the fly, basing opinion more on observation than rooted opinion.
We hang out with people and develop relationships, but never really put ourselves in a position to see who each other truly is. If you don’t find even a bone of contention or adversity, your relationship is doomed to a superficial connection until you have to react to a moment of tension. And in that moment, a lot can be revealed.
A lot of relationships fall apart in moments of tension. Not everyone is willing to embrace tension. Some run away from it. Sometimes the truth about how a person feels about you isn’t what you thought. That's nothing to blame yourself for. You can find comfort in knowing that you attempted to build a connection genuinely and that act was not reciprocated. Remember: you do good things because you're a good person and for no other reason!
We hang out with people and develop relationships, but never really put ourselves in a position to see who each other truly is. If you don’t find even a bone of contention or adversity, your relationship is doomed to a superficial connection until you have to react to a moment of tension. And in that moment, a lot can be revealed.
A lot of relationships fall apart in moments of tension. Not everyone is willing to embrace tension. Some run away from it. Sometimes the truth about how a person feels about you isn’t what you thought. That's nothing to blame yourself for. You can find comfort in knowing that you attempted to build a connection genuinely and that act was not reciprocated. Remember: you do good things because you're a good person and for no other reason!
Building Tension Into Relationships
For me, I like to build relationships with my friends by building a bit of tension into the relationship. I like to train with my friends, play games online with them, build businesses together, do philanthropy work together -- anything that forces accountability and teamwork usually works.
In those moments I learn more about my friends & associates than any other time. I’m able to see how you react in pressure situations. I can learn how you respond to adversity. Human relationship either break from tension or grow in a beautiful way when tension is faced and addressed head on. And the latter is a beautiful bond worth pursuing.
I encourage you to examine your relationships and find ways to build a little tension into it. Find a positive way to fight adversity with your friend, a family member or a significant other. It will not only help you learn more about the person but will also give you both a great story to remember (assuming all goes well).
And if it happens to go left, at the least you will be able to understand where you stand with a person and clarify the story behind your relationship. Because in the end: all we are left with is stories and memories.
In those moments I learn more about my friends & associates than any other time. I’m able to see how you react in pressure situations. I can learn how you respond to adversity. Human relationship either break from tension or grow in a beautiful way when tension is faced and addressed head on. And the latter is a beautiful bond worth pursuing.
I encourage you to examine your relationships and find ways to build a little tension into it. Find a positive way to fight adversity with your friend, a family member or a significant other. It will not only help you learn more about the person but will also give you both a great story to remember (assuming all goes well).
And if it happens to go left, at the least you will be able to understand where you stand with a person and clarify the story behind your relationship. Because in the end: all we are left with is stories and memories.
Discover my journey at The Academy @ GSP, where diverse talents meet innovative learning. From creative courses to strategic insights, explore how my first month has been transformative.
This is a subtitle for your new post
Our lives are composed of the various outcomes that our actions & habits produce and enable.
Our values are the only thing binding us as people.
We are always in a rush. I've lived in the fastest place in America in New York & the slowest in Indiana, and for all of the socio-economic & geopolitical differences the people inhabiting these two places have one thing in common: the need to get on to the next as soon as possible.
Imagination is the key to unlocking a world of possibilities in life. It cannot, however, exist where scarcity thrives. The moment you believe you’re capable of making the best of a situation, you’ve already won. The moment you’ve accepted defeat, you’ve lost. The power of imagination is present in both instances.
When it comes down to it, man’s entire existence is based two things: Paradigm, how he sees the world & values, how he chooses to act in and upon it. Most men do not walk alone because they don’t believe that their cause, idea or philosophy is good enough to walk a lonely path with.
It’s an easy thing to talk about.
I decided to head back to NYC.
Life has a funny way of humbling us when we least expect it.